BLAME

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--BLAME

Five minutes to free write about it

----------------------------------------------------------

Having grown up in a dysfunctional family where it was normal to find someone or something to blame rather than accept responsibility when things went wrong or acknowledge something you didn't like was true, I learned to do the same.

I have a very funny memory of my mother insisting that our scale was broken because it showed that she had gained weight, and a not very funny one of me making excuses for my husband's irresponsible behavior that led to his taking his life and leaving me with two small children and a mountain of debt. I even felt sorry for him instead of mad. 

Most of the time I no longer blame anyone or anything--with one exception. I do blame myself (and rightfully so) for the physical and financial challenges in my life today. This I did to myself through many poor choices and a lack of self discipline.

Sadly, I can't turn back the clock, but hopefully my children and grandchildren can learn from my mistakes so as not to repeat them. As for me, I'm trying to focus on making the most I can of what I do have instead of thinking about what I don't, and on looking at the many things I have to be grateful for. It's amazing what a change in perspective can do. 

I may not be able to change what is, but I can surely change the way I experience it.

Don't be anxious about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. -- Philippians 4:6-8, NLT

A VERY SAD ENDING -- OR MAYBE NOT?

I had a beautiful Thanksgiving cactus sitting on my windowsill that surprised me this year by blooming in March. 

Not only did it bloom at an unusual time of year, but it had more blooms on it than ever before. and was quite a spectacular sight.

It did have one quirk though. The side of it next to the window would bloom but the other side facing the inside of the room would not. So when the window side was full of buds I would turn the plant around to give the other side a chance to bud as well.

And then the unthinkable happened.

After the last turnaround, all the buds and blooms on the side now facing the room made the plant lopsided and it tipped over. 

This was the shocking sight that greeted me when I walked by a few hours later, and I'm ashamed to say that my very first thought was not of what had happened to the plant, but rather one of frustration at the mess it had made on my freshly vacuumed carpet and the inconvenience of having to stop what I was doing to clean it up and figure out what to do.

I couldn't just pick it up and put it back on the windowsill because quite a few pieces of it had broken off in the fall, making it even more unbalanced than it had been before. Plus it had obviously gotten too big to safely sit in that spot anymore or this mishap would never have happened in the first place. 

Much as I love my plants, I am no gardener at heart. I'd rather be able to just enjoy them without having to put in the effort to  prune and repot and treat infestations and all the things that go into nurturing them and giving them the proper care. 

In the end, what I did was give the part still in the pot to one of my neighbors who loves plants and who has a much greener thumb than I do, in the hopes that she can do whatever needs to be done to fix it, and that it will thrive under her care and give her as much pleasure as it gave me. 

I then picked up all the pieces that had broken off and put them in a couple of smaller pots, probably overcrowding them, because I didn't have the patience to wait until tomorrow to go out and get some more pots, and because the thought of having to add one more chore to an already overwhelming day felt like too much to handle. 

I'm sure there is a lesson here for me to learn. Like not being so slothful and taking better, more timely care of the things I treasure. This mishap could have been avoided had I moved the plant when I first noticed it getting wobbly, or repotted it, but I kept putting it off.

I am so grateful God does not treat me the way I treat my plants. I am grateful that He is so patient and long-suffering and never gives up on me. I am grateful for His unconditional love even when I mess up, and that He is never too busy or too tired or too stressed or overwhelmed to take care of my needs or to pick me up when I fall down. 

Maybe by His mercy and grace at least one of the cuttings will survive and even thrive? And just maybe, going forward, He will give me the willingness and commitment to amend my ways?

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

 

BEAUTIFUL SPRING: PART 1

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--HURRY

Five minutes to free write about it

----------------------------------------------------------

We've been having such beautiful weather lately, it's been hard to stick to my daily routine. I would much rather be out and about.

On Friday, I had a bunch of errands to run and my intent was to hurry and get them done as quickly as possible, come home and hurry through the rest of my must do's, and get this post written and posted on Friday. However, as you can see, that's not what happened. I am writing this on Sunday evening instead.

There were so many things that caught my eye, I kept pulling over and getting out of the car to take pictures instead of hurrying to get home. By the time I finally did get back, I felt like that little cupid resting on the steps of a friend's house and needed a nap.

I don't like to always be in a hurry, but feel as though I need to be or I won't be able to get everything done that needs to get done. Lately, however, I've been trying to slow down and become more in tune with what the Lord has for me to do each day, instead of trying to be the one in control. That way there always will be enough time, and I won't be stressed out by the constant hurry, hurry.

As I was writing this post, Luke 10:41-42 came to mind. "Martha, Martha," the Lord replied, "you are worried and upset about many things. But only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, and it will not be taken away from her" (BSB).

----------------------------------------

Following are some of my favorite shots taken on Friday. Enjoy!

 

PRETTY PINKS AND BLUES

This cute display in the floral department of our Local Harris Teeter store caught my eye.

On the way home I saw many beautiful trees full of pink blossoms.  So beautiful. I'm not sure what kind they are. Maybe almond trees? Does anybody know?

The picture doesn't really do it justice as it was taken through the dirty windshield of my car. 

I also saw some pretty little pink and blue wildflowers in the grass in front of my building.

Maybe if my back feels up to it tomorrow, I will take a little walk to get some better pictures of the trees.

PROMPTS MISSED AND MISUNDERSTOOD

The Five Minute Friday prompt from two weeks ago was SUFFERING. I did not participate because it brought up too many painful memories to process in five minutes. However, it kept hounding me until we got this week's prompt, which I thought was DEPEND. It would have been so perfect. Except it turned out that the weekly challenge was DEDICATE, not DEPEND. How I made that error, I'll never understand. The two words don't even look or sound alike. 

Anyway, the word depend brought to mind a time when I left everything behind and relocated to accept a job and a marriage proposal from a man I believed was a mature, trustworthy, responsible Christian and who made a big point of telling me how his word was something I could bank on. In the end it all fell through and there was no turning back.*

Lesson learned was that only God's word can be banked on. His word alone can be trusted one hundred percent of the time. People make commitments they don't or can't always keep. Sometimes it's because they make them impulsively without considering the ramifications. Other times it's because circumstances get in the way. Even the most honorable, best intentioned folks are subject to unexpected events such as sickness, unavoidable delays, and death.

We have been going through the Book of Psalms in church on Sundays, and today our pastor gave an excellent message on Psalm 96, which is about worship, and about singing to the Lord because He is worthy of our praise, and for the things that He has done, and when he asked us to think of things we are thankful for, this lesson--albeit painful and confusing at the time--was definitely one of them. 

At the end of the message he gave us a challenge to sing a song of worship to the Lord for what He has done, out loud, every day this week. As I wrap up this post, I commit to dedicate myself to doing just that.

--------------------------------------

*This was one of the major pivotal points of my life. It is included in my memoir Sincerely Wrong: An Improbable Journey.

DEDICATE

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--DEDICATE

Five minutes to free write about it

----------------------------------------------------------

It's March, and there's a lot of noise coming from the water tower across the way. Loud, raucous, quark quarks as the ravens dedicate themselves to getting their nest ready for the babies soon to be born. 

This particular raven family first arrived in town quite a few years ago, and built a nest on the water tower across from my balcony. They became very dedicated to the spot and returned to it every year when it was time to lay their eggs. again 

At one point their nest got removed due to some major maintenance work to the tower, including a much needed paint job. I wondered what would happen when they returned to find it gone. 

They just surveyed the situation and built themselves another nest on the temporary tower that had been erected behind the original one to house all the cellular carrier antennas and telecommunications equipment while the work was going on. 

When the work had been completed, the temporary tower was dismantled and their second nest removed along with it, but it did not seem to put a damper on their dedication to returning to this location one bit. They just built another (third) nest on the original, now spiffied up, tower. 

Disappointlingly  for me, this nest is on the other side of the tower that is not visible from my balcony, so now I just hear them but cannot watch them the way I used to be able to do.

For any of you who might be interested, the first year the ravens arrived and chose the water tower to be the site of their abode, I spent many hours on my balcony taking pictures of them and their babies learning to fly. which became the inspiration for my first children's picture book--THE WATER TOWER RAVENS.  It even made the front page of our local newspaper at that time. 

Alas, I am not very dedicated to marketing, and so sales have dwindled since then, but maybe when and if I ever have more time to spare, I will try and spread the word once again. 

FALLEN THROUGH THE CRACKS

Do you ever feel as though you have fallen through the cracks? 

Mostly my heart is full of gratitude for the many blessings in my life, but there are times when I feel like that—especially when something happens that triggers old painful memories of feeling overlooked, left out, insignificant, or “less than.” 

 Whenever that happens, I think of the wildflowers (called weeds by some) that bloom where they are planted and grow out of cracks in the road or sidewalk. It reminds me that even when I feel unseen or forgotten, I am never invisible to God. He always knows exactly where I am, and my identity lies in Him alone and not in how I feel I measure up to others or what they might think of me. 

Neither you nor I were accidents. God designed us to be Divine originals, created for a special purpose no one else could fulfill (Psalm 139:13-16; Ephesians 2:10). 

Even before the beginning of time, every single detail of your life was recorded in His book (Psalm 139:16-17). You are of great value to Him and He loves and cares for you. If you have any doubts about that, just think of the Cross. 

John 3:16 tells us that "God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." It is a gift that can only be received by grace, through faith. Salvation cannot be earned by good works (Ephesians 2:8-9). 

Although it is not God's will for anyone to perish, He will not impose His will on you or force you to accept it. The choice is yours. 

Jesus stands at the door of your heart, knocking and waiting for you to let Him in (Revelation 3:20). If you have not already done so, I pray you would open the door now and accept His invitation to enter your life, forgive you of your sins, and make you a new creation. 

------------------------------------------ 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. . . . My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. – Psalm 139:13-16, NIV 

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. – Ephesians 2:10, NIV

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. – Ephesians 2:8-9, NIV 

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, -- John 1:13, ESV

RESPITE

 

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--RESPITE

Five minutes to free write about it

----------------------------------------------------------

RESPITE: "A short period of rest or relief from something difficult or unpleasant."

RESPITE CARE: "Short-term, time-limited break for families and other unpaid caregivers."

At first this prompt did not bring anything to mind, but after I pondered on its definition for a bit it got me to thinking of a beautiful lady (inside and out) who is one of the most generous, caring, kind-hearted, funniest, warmest, loving, Jesus-like people I know. She has a big, big heart, and His love just flows through her.

She had been a caregiver to each of her parents, and after they both passed and she became the official owner of their home, one of her first thoughts was to use it to be a blessing. She named it after her mom, and created a special respite room for caregivers to use as a getaway for a night or a weekend at no charge.  They have an option to be alone B&B style or to hang out with a group of ladies and "do dinner, movies, games, (and/or) devotions" 

In the introduction to her Facebook page she quotes 1 John 3:18 --"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." And that she does with all of her heart. She's the genuine, real thing.

MY FIRST WORDLESS WEDNESDAY