PART

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--PART

Five minutes to free-write about it

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One of the things I pray for during my morning quiet time is that the Lord would increase my inner strength so that I don't cave in when buffeted by the storms of life. But, truth be told, I tend to feel a pang of fear when I pray it, because I know that in order for the Lord to answer that prayer I will be tested.

And tested I was, when I unexpectedly wound up in the ER during the month of May--not once, but twice--and at the beginning of June, had surgery for something unrelated that I had been led to believe I was not a candidate for. 

The way the Lord orchestrated all the details was so mind boggling it gave my confidence in Him a much needed boost, driving home the point that He is on the throne and in control. My part is to trust Him whether or not I understand the whys and wherefores. His part is to work out the details. 

Though I am feeling stronger, I'm still in recovery mode and do not yet know for sure what the final outcome of the surgery will be, but some of the lessons I'm learning are to stay present in the moment so I don't miss out on today's blessings by letting fear of tomorrow rob me of their joy, and not to let the things I don't know keep me from experiencing the comfort provided by the things that I do. Things like Jesus is my good Shepherd who will never leave me or forsake me, and who is always by my side. Or that God is my father, and I am His beloved child. 

I don't need to go down trails of what ifs, because I can be rest assured that He sees things I do not see, and knows things I do not know, and is working all things together for my good and His glory as He weaves the tapestry of my life.

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We need have no fear of someone who loves us perfectly; his perfect love for us eliminates all dread of what he might do to us. If we are afraid, it is for fear of what he might do to us. and shows that we are not fully convinced that he really loves us. -- 1 John 4:18 (TLB)

BACK HOME

Just a brief update to let you all know that surgery was successful, and I am now back home, learning to be patient and accept help as I recover, and pondering many things. 

 

One of the things I've been pondering is the miracle of how this surgery even came to be. That deserves a post all of its own.

In brief though, I firmly believe the Lord used the small bowel obstruction that landed me in the ER just to introduce me to the wonderful thoracic surgeon who repaired the hiatal hernia I had been told was too risky to repair and that it was a surgery I would not be a candidate for.

I have already posted the details of how an X-ray taken as I was being prepped for pre-op revealed that the obstruction was gone (here in this post if you want to read it), and the surgery was cancelled. 

The thoracic surgeon who was going to collaborate in the surgery recommended that I go home, gain some strength, and reschedule the hernia repair for a later date--as opposed to him doing it then. 

His plan was to do minimally invasive robotic surgery--unless he went in and found there was a lot of scar tissue from a previous laparoscopic surgery I had had, which is what had been thought to be the cause of the bowel obstruction that disappeared. And plan A is what it turned out to be as there was no scar tissue to be found either.

When I ponder how the Lord orchestrated the details of a surgery that had never even been on the radar before my visit to the ER for something totally unrelated, my awe is too great for words.

DEAL

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--DEAL

Five minutes to free-write about it

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This was one of the views from my window for almost three weeks. Three weeks on an IV with no food or drink. 

It's funny how hard it has always been for me to lose weight, and how quickly I managed to lose 8 lbs. Now, instead of stepping on the scale in the morning to see if I have (hopefully) lost sometihng, I'm stepping on to see if I've managed to gain anything back. But I digress. 

One morning I woke up fine. By the end of the day, I was not. 

Since then, it's been a challenging time of unexpected ups and downs, ever changing plans and schedules, encouraging news and news that's not so encouraging, having every single available vein poked so many times they had trouble finding new ones--even with the help of an ultrasound (and I am a big wimp with zero pain tolerance and needle phobia). 

Throughout it all, what's kept me going is reminding myself that Jesus, my good shepherd, is right there with me, holding my hand, sometimes even carrying me. It's also reminding myself that even when I don't understand--and more so then than ever--I need to trust that God is in control, that He sees the end from the beginning, and that His plan and timing are always the best. Sometimes He reminds me of it too, such as in the form of a miracle. 

Like being on my way to surgery for removal of a small bowel obstruction and having one more X-ray before a nurse--very aptly named Rejoice--came to prep me for Pre-Op, but the surgery got cancelled.

The X-ray revealed there was no longer any obstruction and the surgery was no longer needed. The thoracic surgeon who was going to collaborate in the surgery and repair my hiatal hernia at the same time opted to postpone the repair until June to give me a chance to go home and regain some strength, and then, hopefully, he would be able to do the repair in a less invasive and more effective way.

However, the deal is this. One miracle does not necessarily mean assuming a second one will follow. It may or may not, but should not be taken for granted.  

The deal is that peace comes from putting my trust in God--no matter what--and seeking His face rather than His hand. It's looking at life's challenges as opportunities to acknowledge my neediness,  rely more fully on Him, and increase my intimacy with Him as my dependence deepens.  

I loved the words of a Sing Devotional I was listening to the day I was discharged (which unfortunately did not have a link I could link it to or even go back and listen to it again to get the name of the man who was leading it), but in essence, he likened pain as going from an open wound to a tender scab, and eventually to an empowering star. 

The worst of times, in retrospect, he went on to say, is often the best of times even if it doesn't feel like it at the time, because it's during those times when God is able to change our hearts and teach us the deepest lessons, and we learn to rely on Him instead of on ourselves.

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Hiatal hernia repair surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, June 2nd. Will keep you posted.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

 

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

 

DECISION

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--DECISION

Five minutes to free-write about it

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Have any of you ever decided to declutter and then later regretted having gotten rid of some of the things you did?

I used to save cards, letters, kids' artwork and term papers, and such, and had three large boxes full. And then I got on the decluttering bandwagon and convinced myself I needed to go through these boxes and only save the things that meant the most. So I did, and pared them down to just half of one box so there would still be room for anything down the road I felt I really couldn't part with.

The same thing with my clothes. Anything in my closet I hadn't worn in over six months got donated to the thrift shop or to our church's clothing giveaway, for someone else to enjoy.

Why I decided to do these things, I do not know. It's not as though I live in a cluttered apartment, but it seemed like the thing to do.

Invariably though, there always seems to be something that I think of that I would like to wear that I haven't in a while, only to discover I no longer have it. And this morning, I thought of something I wanted to read that had once been in one of my boxes of mementos, only to realize it was something I had gotten rid of. 

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

 

TIMING

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--TIMING

Five minutes to free-write about it

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Friday's prompt made me think of how important it is to be sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, and quick to obey before the moment passes.

Most times I do respond right away to spiritual promptings, but other times I don't, and the moment passes, and the opportunity is lost. 

Just this morning, for instance, I was talking to someone at church and had a strong prompting to ask him a certain question, but it felt awkward and I didn't do it. Maybe there will be another opportunity, maybe not, but I'll never know what the Lord might have used that question to accomplish had I obeyed at that moment in time.

The same thing has happened in my writing. I'll feel prompted to write a post (especially on my other blog--At The Foot Of The Cross), but I'm in the middle of work or what I think is some other priority, so I just quickly scribble a note or two on a scrap of paper so I don't forget to do it later, but when later comes, the passion of the moment is gone, and if I do write something anyway, it does not have the impact it would have had, had I done it when I first felt led to do so.

Which made me think of a passage in the Old Testament (Numbers 14:1-45) about the consequences of missing God's timing.

The spies sent out to scout the land of Canaan brought back a negative report, and as a result,  instead of trusting God, the Israelites disobeyed Him and refused to enter the Promised Land because they were afraid. Then, when God told them they would die in the wilderness for their unbelief, they tried to make up for their disobedience by setting out to fight their enemies even though Moses warned them not to do it because God was no longer with them. 

They refused to listen, did it anyway, and as a result, they were defeated.

FRIDAY FUNNY

 

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY