This post was written for Five Minute Friday.
Five minutes to free write about it.
Maybe the timing of when Carol Kent's book, When I Lay My Isaac Down: Unshakeable Faith in Unthinkable Circumstances crossed my radar wasn't so good, or maybe it was perfect.
Since the beginning of the year I have been battling fear, and listening to this audio book brought feelings to the surface I didn't want to face. Hearing how God turned what seemed like the worst, most unthinkable thing that could happen to someone into an amazing ministry gave perspective as to why He allowed it to occur, but it was not comforting.
I know each one of us has been created, by design, for a special purpose in God's plan. That this tiny blip of time spent in our earthly bodies cannot compare to eternal life with Jesus where there will be no more death, or sorrow, or tears (Revelation 21:4). However, I have such an irrational fear of physical pain, becoming incapacitated, and/or being a burden to my family, that it can blind me to anything else. This kind of fear is not from God (2 Timothy 1:7).
If I really trust God as much as I think I do, why the struggle to relinquish control? And if I truly believe His promise to never leave me or forsake me (e.g. Joshua 1:9; Psalm 23:4; Isaiah 41:10,13; Isaiah 43:2), why should I be afraid of where He might be leading me? Especially since He has proved Himself over and over again in my life, always being there for me, always taking care of me, no matter how dark the valley.
These are the things I need to focus on. His goodness, His faithfulness, His unconditional love, and that He never gives up on me.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the
strength of my heart and my portion forever.
(Psalm 73:26 ESV)
Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I
shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD will
be a light to me.