This post was written for Five Minute Friday
Word prompt--BLAME
Five minutes to free write about it
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Having grown up in a dysfunctional family where it was normal to find someone or something to blame rather than accept responsibility when things went wrong or acknowledge something you didn't like was true, I learned to do the same.
I have a very funny memory of my mother insisting that our scale was broken because it showed that she had gained weight, and a not very funny one of me making excuses for my husband's irresponsible behavior that led to his taking his life and leaving me with two small children and a mountain of debt. I even felt sorry for him instead of mad.
Most of the time I no longer blame anyone or anything--with one exception. I do blame myself (and rightfully so) for the physical and financial challenges in my life today. This I did to myself through many poor choices and a lack of self discipline.
Sadly, I can't turn back the clock, but hopefully my children and grandchildren can learn from my mistakes so as not to repeat them. As for me, I'm trying to focus on making the most I can of what I do have instead of thinking about what I don't, and on looking at the many things I have to be grateful for. It's amazing what a change in perspective can do.
I may not be able to change what is, but I can surely change the way I experience it.
Don't be anxious about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. -- Philippians 4:6-8, NLT
There has walked the One who did
ReplyDeletenot raise a word of blame,
saying that His love would rid
the sinner of the endless shame
that went with self-castigation,
the devil's chosen murder blade,
of which trend to exaggeration
is how mis'ry is made.
So let them go and let them pass,
and look into His gentle eyes;
in this holy looking-glass
you will see the hurt and lies
drop like an un-needed cloak,
nightmare from which you've now awoke.
I needed to see this scripture this morning as I found myself worrying last night as I tried to fall asleep last night. Wondering why I am starting to worry after a long stretch of not doing this. Thank you for putting out a great post Sharon k from nj
ReplyDeleteI think your life sounds great. You know the Lord. You have a tremendous story of redemption. Your family loves you. 🩵
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I don't see how you can blame yourself for physical challenges, though.
ReplyDeleteHi Sandra~ I sometimes feel the same way, but then I do remember that we aren't perfect, we are just humans, doing the best we can in this life. What I often think, is that, I am a child of God. He loves me and all of my imperfections! He loves you too!! My husband sent me this thought yesterday, and it's such a good one, I'll share it with you :
ReplyDelete" It's funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack." Germany Kent.
Remember how much you are loved! Hugs, Barb
Life sure isn't perfect. Thanks for being transparent about the difficulties happening and have happened to you.
ReplyDeleteI do like what Sandi said in her comment...You DO have a wonderful story of Redemption and you DO have family that loves you..Gods Plan
That verse is one of my favorites.
(((hugs)))
Sue
Wise words, Sandra, "I'm trying to focus on making the most I can of what I do have instead of thinking about what I don't, and on looking at the many things I have to be grateful for. It's amazing what a change in perspective can do. I may not be able to change what is, but I can surely change the way I experience it."
ReplyDeleteThis was a great reminder I needed about changing the way I experience things since I can't change HAVING to experience them. This was a great post!
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to forgive ourselves sometimes isn't it? We all do some boneheaded things that hurt us later in life. Sometimes we can learn from those bad decisions and make better decisions in our future. :) FMF14
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautifullly transparent post. God's mercies are new every morning. I hope you can experience that from Him and from yourself. We can't change the past but we have each new day to start fresh and make changes as we learn and grow.
ReplyDeleteBlaming others and constantly blaming ourselves are both unhealthy ways of living. Taking responsibility, learning lessons, and accepting forgiveness are the way forward. This is a great post illustrating that. Blessings to you today! Visiting from FMF#16
ReplyDeleteThanks for addressing real-life issues with such insight and empathy. Explore the Aviator game's fan theories and speculation on our blog.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post, Great-Granny Sandra. I love your balance. You reminded me of the serenity prayer.
ReplyDeleteLord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
I love your reminder to shift the perspective. Powerful.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on blame, Sandra. My pastor shared with me the other day that blaming ourselves for the past locks us into our present sufferings, and affects us and others. He said when he received God's forgiveness for past failures and mistakes, he was able to move forward healed and whole and helpful for others around him. That was very helpful for me, as the mother of adult children who aren't making great decisions, and as someone suffering health consequences of her own neglect. Hope it's helpful to you. Kath
ReplyDelete