You are my hiding place; you will
protect me from trouble and surround
me with songs of deliverance.
(Psalm 32:7)
Well it's that time of year again when one lease ends and another begins, and my thoughts turn to greener pastures.
Not only am I facing another increase to a rent I'm already having problems coming up with each month, but there has been a mass exodus from my apartment complex and the management is desperately trying to fill the empty apartments with an offer of a free plasma TV to anyone who moves in before the end of the month. Does this also mean they will relax their standards and we will wind up with troublesome tenants as in earlier days before the new administration stepped in and cleaned things up?
And then there is the matter of church, which has been an increasing source of frustration. It is a cold, cold place I attend but where I've never felt I belonged. Why do I stay? Because it is close to home and the teaching is sound. And yes, I have tried to make a difference by involving myself in various ministries and trying to reach out to others, but I am not seeing any fruits of those efforts.
My thoughts keep going back to an ad I saw for a church starting up 60 miles from here. It sounded so welcoming, and so warm, and I wished it were not that far away. Imagine my delighted surprise when on an impulsive check of www.rent.com, I saw an ad for a new apartment complex located close to that church, where the rents were half what mine are. It sounded too good to be true. I was so excited I couldn't fall asleep, and the next day being Sunday, I set out to visit the church and apartment.
Half a tank of gas and 165 miles later, I discovered that the grass is definitely NOT greener on the other side of the fence.
Yes, the folks at the church were very warm and welcoming, and as I entered the building, I thrilled to hear the choir practicing the old choruses I so miss. But when the worship started, I had to keep my eyes closed to keep from being distracted by all the chit-chat going on around me, and found myself missing the reverence in my church's sanctuary where people stand to sing, raise their hands in praise, and this sort of behavior would not be tolerated.
As for the apartments, it took me three hours to find them--despite my MapQuest directions--and when I finally got there, the complex was not at all what I expected. For starters, it was definitely not new, the rental units lacked most of the amenities I currently enjoy, one of the buildings had recently burned down and stood like a charred eyesore in the midst of the property, and a bunch of youth loitered under one of the stairwells, engaged in who knows what. In the end though, none of it mattered because there were income restrictions that I did not come close to qualifying for.
By the time I got home, I was exhausted. I regretted having missed communion at my church, and also the delicious London broil my daughter and son-in-law were cooking that I had been invited to share. The day had started out with such great hopes and expectations, and all kinds of plans already mapped out in my head. But along with the disappointment, I was also grateful that the Lord loved me enough to take me on this little adventure rather than zap me with a bolt of lightning for murmuring and complaining about my current circumstances.
I thought of all the times I have given up something in favor of something else I thought would be better, and then lived to regret what I no longer had. This time, by His mercy and grace, I had only given it up in my imagination run wild, and still have a second chance to stay where I am and view it from a different perspective.
8/28/07
LESSONS FROM A TOMATO PLANT
Where I'm going with this, I'm not sure. I just liked the title. What I am sure of though, is that I have failed in my first attempt to grow tomatoes.
My well tended seedling quickly grew to be almost as tall as I am--and is still growing. It is covered with yellow flowers, and every day there are more and more of them, but only one small tomato, which has not grown or changed in appearance since my post and pictures a couple of weeks ago. Even the bug waiting to take that first bite has long since given up and hopped away.
According to Dr. Google, who I consulted about my plight, the bountiful harvest of tomatoes I had eagerly anticipated is not about to materialize. It seems I coddled my plant too much.
On the other hand, its stunted and neglected brothers and sisters back at the camp are just teaming with tomatoes. Go figure!
Could the lessons be something like all that glitters is not gold (not even golden flowers that are supposed to turn into lush red tomatoes), or appearances can be deceiving, or don't count your chickens (or tomatoes) until they're hatched? Hmm!
My well tended seedling quickly grew to be almost as tall as I am--and is still growing. It is covered with yellow flowers, and every day there are more and more of them, but only one small tomato, which has not grown or changed in appearance since my post and pictures a couple of weeks ago. Even the bug waiting to take that first bite has long since given up and hopped away.
According to Dr. Google, who I consulted about my plight, the bountiful harvest of tomatoes I had eagerly anticipated is not about to materialize. It seems I coddled my plant too much.
On the other hand, its stunted and neglected brothers and sisters back at the camp are just teaming with tomatoes. Go figure!
Could the lessons be something like all that glitters is not gold (not even golden flowers that are supposed to turn into lush red tomatoes), or appearances can be deceiving, or don't count your chickens (or tomatoes) until they're hatched? Hmm!
8/24/07
THE PITY PARTY
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord
Jesus Christ, and the Father of compassion
and the God of all comfort, who comforts us
in all our troubles, so that we can comfort
those in any trouble with the comfort we
ourselves have received from God.
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
Well, it started out innocently enough. A passing twinge of resentment at an e-mail that failed to thank me for something I had done--not even an acknowledgement of it. But then that was par for the course where this person was concerned--and others too. And now the twinge became more than a passing one as I started thinking about other people I had sent things to who had failed to acknowledge receiving them either.
At this point I decided I had better get back to work before my thoughts became totally unbridled. But that was not to be. The Internet was down, and a little demon perched himself on my shoulder, gleefully pushing buttons that filled my mind with hurtful memories from the past. As each one resurfaced, it triggered a bunch more, and soon I was partying with anger and resentment at all the wrongs done to me (both real and imagined) from as far back as the day I was born and disappointed my mother by being a girl instead of the boy she had hoped for.
Things were starting to get a bit out of hand, when I was rescued by an unexpected phone call from a good friend. By the time I got off the phone, the Internet was back up and I decided to check out some blogs before getting back to work.
One friend's post piqued my interest in another one posted on SmallGreenRiver's blog. As I scrolled down, the header Bam Bam caught my attention and I started to read it--including the comments. What was left of my pity party came to an abrupt end, as I shamefully realized how petty it had been.
Hurting people hurt people, but God can turn it around for good and for his glory. Like Joseph said to his brothers, You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done..." (Genesis 50:20)
So thank you, James, for not deleting those comments, devastatingly painful as they must have been for you to read. If you had, the Lord could never have used them to shock me back to reality. And who knows how many other folks he may have ministered to through them as well.
Jesus Christ, and the Father of compassion
and the God of all comfort, who comforts us
in all our troubles, so that we can comfort
those in any trouble with the comfort we
ourselves have received from God.
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
Well, it started out innocently enough. A passing twinge of resentment at an e-mail that failed to thank me for something I had done--not even an acknowledgement of it. But then that was par for the course where this person was concerned--and others too. And now the twinge became more than a passing one as I started thinking about other people I had sent things to who had failed to acknowledge receiving them either.
At this point I decided I had better get back to work before my thoughts became totally unbridled. But that was not to be. The Internet was down, and a little demon perched himself on my shoulder, gleefully pushing buttons that filled my mind with hurtful memories from the past. As each one resurfaced, it triggered a bunch more, and soon I was partying with anger and resentment at all the wrongs done to me (both real and imagined) from as far back as the day I was born and disappointed my mother by being a girl instead of the boy she had hoped for.
Things were starting to get a bit out of hand, when I was rescued by an unexpected phone call from a good friend. By the time I got off the phone, the Internet was back up and I decided to check out some blogs before getting back to work.
One friend's post piqued my interest in another one posted on SmallGreenRiver's blog. As I scrolled down, the header Bam Bam caught my attention and I started to read it--including the comments. What was left of my pity party came to an abrupt end, as I shamefully realized how petty it had been.
Hurting people hurt people, but God can turn it around for good and for his glory. Like Joseph said to his brothers, You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done..." (Genesis 50:20)
So thank you, James, for not deleting those comments, devastatingly painful as they must have been for you to read. If you had, the Lord could never have used them to shock me back to reality. And who knows how many other folks he may have ministered to through them as well.
8/18/07
AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS A WEED
Several posts ago I showed a picture of the little tomato death camp survivor I had adopted. A well-intentioned friend told me it didn't look like a tomato plant to her, and this view was confirmed by some chuckling neighbors who found it amusing that I should be spending so much time and energy on what looked to them like a fast growing weed. Even I was starting to have some doubts, but continued nurturing it anyway.
Well, as you can see, it is a tomato plant after all, but maybe an overly coddled one, for it's not near as fruitful as it's more neglected sisters and brothers still at the camp.
Well, as you can see, it is a tomato plant after all, but maybe an overly coddled one, for it's not near as fruitful as it's more neglected sisters and brothers still at the camp.Although it has grown big and tall, and is covered with many little yellow flowers, only one tomato has shown up so far. And who is that strange bug lurking in the background? He seems to have taken up residence on the railing--sometimes on one side, sometimes on the other. Hope he's not waiting to take the first bite.
7/22/07
BATTLE OF THE ANTS
For several days last week, the left portion of my kitchen counter bordering the sink, as well as the lower left portion of the window frame and sill behind it, were laid siege to by a swarm of teeny tiny ants marching up through the drain.
After the initial shock wore off, a battle plan was put into action. Baking soda mixed with vinegar was poured down the drain, followed by pots of boiling water, and for a few short hours it seemed to have worked. The victory was short lived, however, and the swarm reappeared with gathered forces.
More baking soda and vinegar were poured down the drain, followed by even more pots of boiling water, but by the end of the day a new battalion was steadily marching up the drain.
I repeated the procedure a third time, and still the troops kept escalating, so on to Plan B, which was to put bay leaves in and around the infested areas. This proved to be a total waste of time, and didn't daunt them one bit.
At this point I turned to Google (which is probably where I should have started), and was informed that whereas my previous strategies had been good, there could be no long lasting results until the queen had been destroyed. I didn't know ants had a queen. My visiting granddaughter assured me that they did. So now how to go about toppling her from her throne?
After surfing through various sites for new strategies, I decided on the following.
Mix 1 cup of warm water with 1/2 cup of sugar (I used brown since it's all I had available), and 2 tablespoons of Borax. Then soak the mixture up with cotton balls and place those cotton balls near any trails the ants have established.
I placed the cotton balls in strategic places along the counter, window sill, and ledge behind my sink. Then I turned off the light and went to bed.
The next morning, I could hardly believe my eyes. No trace of an ant anywhere. All was still, and my kitchen resembled a ghost town dotted with mini mountain peaks of brown sugar fudge. The battle was over, and I had won!
After the initial shock wore off, a battle plan was put into action. Baking soda mixed with vinegar was poured down the drain, followed by pots of boiling water, and for a few short hours it seemed to have worked. The victory was short lived, however, and the swarm reappeared with gathered forces.
More baking soda and vinegar were poured down the drain, followed by even more pots of boiling water, but by the end of the day a new battalion was steadily marching up the drain.
I repeated the procedure a third time, and still the troops kept escalating, so on to Plan B, which was to put bay leaves in and around the infested areas. This proved to be a total waste of time, and didn't daunt them one bit.
At this point I turned to Google (which is probably where I should have started), and was informed that whereas my previous strategies had been good, there could be no long lasting results until the queen had been destroyed. I didn't know ants had a queen. My visiting granddaughter assured me that they did. So now how to go about toppling her from her throne?
After surfing through various sites for new strategies, I decided on the following.
Mix 1 cup of warm water with 1/2 cup of sugar (I used brown since it's all I had available), and 2 tablespoons of Borax. Then soak the mixture up with cotton balls and place those cotton balls near any trails the ants have established.
I placed the cotton balls in strategic places along the counter, window sill, and ledge behind my sink. Then I turned off the light and went to bed.
The next morning, I could hardly believe my eyes. No trace of an ant anywhere. All was still, and my kitchen resembled a ghost town dotted with mini mountain peaks of brown sugar fudge. The battle was over, and I had won!
7/21/07
AS TWO SHIPS PASSING IN THE NIGHT...
It seems like just yesterday I first noticed her and asked if she was moving in. As I introduced myself and welcomed her to our complex, I had the feeling we would become friends, and yet nothing more took place than a friendly hello on the rare occasion we passed one another in the parking lot.
Today she walked over to my car and asked if I knew anyone she could give her perishables to. I asked if she was moving out. She nodded, and my heart sank. She said it was time to move on, and I wished her a safe trip.
A pang of shock hit deep in the pit of my stomach, and as I turned and walked towards my apartment, I felt overwhelmed by unexpected grief. Why do I so deeply mourn a friendship that never was?
Today she walked over to my car and asked if I knew anyone she could give her perishables to. I asked if she was moving out. She nodded, and my heart sank. She said it was time to move on, and I wished her a safe trip.
A pang of shock hit deep in the pit of my stomach, and as I turned and walked towards my apartment, I felt overwhelmed by unexpected grief. Why do I so deeply mourn a friendship that never was?
7/12/07
HE KNOWS, HE LOVES, HE CARES...
He knows, He loves, He cares,
nothing this truth can dim,
He gives His very best to those
who leave the choice with Him.
(Source Unknown)
Instead of going to Book Club today, I decided to stay home and write a Dear God letter about the ever growing mountain of frustrations I have been battling these last few weeks. Computer glitches that hold me up and keep me from doing what I want/need to do, friends who don't answer e-mails even when a response is repeatedly requested, legalism that doesn't allow for special circumstances, and on and on.
It all came to a head yesterday when I received an announcement from one of my job managers that we were getting yet another pay cut. Thanks to outsourcing, the choice has become work for less, or not at all. And the solution for keeping up with the growing cost of living? Work more hours and be grateful that there is still work out there to do. Kind of like the Israelites being told they had to continue making the same amount of bricks, but now they also had to collect their own straw (Exodus 5:6). Well, maybe that's a stretch, but it definitely described my frame of mind as I decided to take it to the Lord.
As I furiously scribbled, a couple of Scriptures came to mind. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men (Colossians 3:23); Promotion comes neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. But God is the Judge: He puts down one, and exalts another (Psalm 75:6-7 ); Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Now I started feeling a little sheepish, and even more so when I felt that still, small voice in my heart gently questioning me: Have I not always taken care of you? Was there ever a need that went unmet? Have I not proved myself to you over and over?
Memories started popping up of my circusmatnces 11 years ago when I found myself uprooted and transplanted into an unfamiliar town, and how different things are in my life today. I remembered the days of overwhelming debt, the days of looking for change in the parking lot so I could go grocery shopping, the days of calling in sick to work because I didn't have money to put gas in the car. And I also remembered how the Lord provided in miraculous ways--not only for my needs, but for some wants as well. A crumpled $20 bill by the door of the supermarket; bags full of very gently worn designer clothes from a boss/friend who was constantly buying more and thrilled to find someone who would take the old ones out of her closet to make room for the new; a brand new car when the old one died.
Not that I would necessarily want to relive those days, but they were days when the Lord was able to reveal Himself to me in awesome ways. They were days when I learned to trust Him more than ever as I experienced first hand the manifestations of His faithfulness and love.
Today I am completely debt free, working in the comfort of my home at two jobs I really enjoy. Those are things I would never have dreamed of years ago when I first landed in this neck of the woods. And the Lord still continues to surprise me with little unexpected gifts from time to time. Like the check I recently received in the mail in an envelope with no return address. The name and address on the check were Paraclete, Philippians 4:19 (which for those of you not familiar with the Scriptures, is the address of a verse that reads And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus); the check number was not a number, but the sign of the fish; under the amount to be paid was a single line in bold print--With God All Things Are Possible; and the check was signed Paraclete. I still haven't figured that one out.
With each memory,the praises and thanksgiving flowed, and before I knew it, all the frustration had melted away, replaced by overwhelming peace and joy. Nothing had changed really, and yet everything had.
nothing this truth can dim,
He gives His very best to those
who leave the choice with Him.
(Source Unknown)
Instead of going to Book Club today, I decided to stay home and write a Dear God letter about the ever growing mountain of frustrations I have been battling these last few weeks. Computer glitches that hold me up and keep me from doing what I want/need to do, friends who don't answer e-mails even when a response is repeatedly requested, legalism that doesn't allow for special circumstances, and on and on.
It all came to a head yesterday when I received an announcement from one of my job managers that we were getting yet another pay cut. Thanks to outsourcing, the choice has become work for less, or not at all. And the solution for keeping up with the growing cost of living? Work more hours and be grateful that there is still work out there to do. Kind of like the Israelites being told they had to continue making the same amount of bricks, but now they also had to collect their own straw (Exodus 5:6). Well, maybe that's a stretch, but it definitely described my frame of mind as I decided to take it to the Lord.
As I furiously scribbled, a couple of Scriptures came to mind. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men (Colossians 3:23); Promotion comes neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. But God is the Judge: He puts down one, and exalts another (Psalm 75:6-7 ); Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Now I started feeling a little sheepish, and even more so when I felt that still, small voice in my heart gently questioning me: Have I not always taken care of you? Was there ever a need that went unmet? Have I not proved myself to you over and over?
Memories started popping up of my circusmatnces 11 years ago when I found myself uprooted and transplanted into an unfamiliar town, and how different things are in my life today. I remembered the days of overwhelming debt, the days of looking for change in the parking lot so I could go grocery shopping, the days of calling in sick to work because I didn't have money to put gas in the car. And I also remembered how the Lord provided in miraculous ways--not only for my needs, but for some wants as well. A crumpled $20 bill by the door of the supermarket; bags full of very gently worn designer clothes from a boss/friend who was constantly buying more and thrilled to find someone who would take the old ones out of her closet to make room for the new; a brand new car when the old one died.
Not that I would necessarily want to relive those days, but they were days when the Lord was able to reveal Himself to me in awesome ways. They were days when I learned to trust Him more than ever as I experienced first hand the manifestations of His faithfulness and love.
Today I am completely debt free, working in the comfort of my home at two jobs I really enjoy. Those are things I would never have dreamed of years ago when I first landed in this neck of the woods. And the Lord still continues to surprise me with little unexpected gifts from time to time. Like the check I recently received in the mail in an envelope with no return address. The name and address on the check were Paraclete, Philippians 4:19 (which for those of you not familiar with the Scriptures, is the address of a verse that reads And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus); the check number was not a number, but the sign of the fish; under the amount to be paid was a single line in bold print--With God All Things Are Possible; and the check was signed Paraclete. I still haven't figured that one out.
With each memory,the praises and thanksgiving flowed, and before I knew it, all the frustration had melted away, replaced by overwhelming peace and joy. Nothing had changed really, and yet everything had.
7/4/07
COULD IT BE TRUE?
Several weeks ago, I adopted what I believed to be one of the survivors of Joanne's tomato death camp. It wasn't the biggest, or the smallest. Just an in-between one. I took the little thing home and nurtured it, and when I thought it was big enough to survive the great outdoors, I carefully transplanted it into a big clay pot, filled with special Miracle-Gro potting mix guaranteed to "Grow Plants Twice As Big! as ordinary soil." Imagine my chagrin when I proudly showed it off to a friend today, and she said it didn't look like any tomato plant she had ever seen. She thinks it's a weed. Please tell me it isn't so.
6/17/07
21 CANDLES
"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face
shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his
face toward you and give you peace." (Numbers 6:24-26)
To my beautiful Alexandra Rose--my first grandchild, my Godchild. Being your grandma has been a very special gift, and I have treasured every moment of watching you unfold, petal by petal, on your journey to adulthood. Your mom and dad very appropriately gave you the middle name of Rose, although I'm sure that's not necessarily what they had in mind when they gave it to you.
Happy 21st birthday to a very cool young lady who will always a hold a special place deep in my heart.
shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his
face toward you and give you peace." (Numbers 6:24-26)
To my beautiful Alexandra Rose--my first grandchild, my Godchild. Being your grandma has been a very special gift, and I have treasured every moment of watching you unfold, petal by petal, on your journey to adulthood. Your mom and dad very appropriately gave you the middle name of Rose, although I'm sure that's not necessarily what they had in mind when they gave it to you.
Happy 21st birthday to a very cool young lady who will always a hold a special place deep in my heart.
5/27/07
FEAT ACCOMPLISHED
For the last couple of years I've been wanting a family picture with all of us in it. To my great frustration, however, someone was always missing at picture taking time. Yesterday we finally made it. Tennessee granddaughter was home for a visit, and New Jersey son and family came to visit and take her out to lunch. Even other granddaughter's husband who was supposed to be working that day had a change in schedule and was able to join us. We met for lunch at Applebee's, and a friendly diner waiting to be seated, captured the moment.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)