DENY

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--DENY

Five minutes to free write about it

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These past few months my faith has been put to the test, and I did not score too well at all. Despite knowing all the correct answers in my head, my heart has been waging a fierce battle with fear and depression--mostly fear.

And then came spring and suddenly there was color everywhere. My favorite redbud trees were in full bloom. Surrounded by so much beauty, I felt hope start to rise.

However, after a wonderful week of blue skies and 70 degree weather, this is what I woke up to this morning, and though I cannot deny its splendour, I cannot deny my disappointment either. Will any of the magnificent blooms survive, or will this unexpected drop in temperature put the kibosh on it all? There seems to be something symbolic here that I can't quite put my finger on.

Five minutes is not long enough for me to find the right words to adequately describe the turmoil that I feel inside. I'm trying hard to focus on my many blessings, and to turn my perspective around.

A SPRING ANNIVERSARY

Today is my blog's 15th anniversary, and the first day of spring. I had wanted to write something special for the occasion, but instead, have spent so much time  reminiscing my way through long forgotten posts and comments that the day is almost over and I haven't written a word. I didn't even get around to going out and finding a "spring" picture to take. This favorite picture of the newest addition to our family (my great-granddoggie, Oliver), taken by his mom (my granddaughter) will have to do. 

 As you can see, he is a very accommodating playmate to my two little granddaughters, who love him to bits. Lucky for him, since he is quite a naughty dog, and may have wound up back at the farm he came from if he had not so completely stolen their hearts,

So, tempting as it was to just skip writing this post since the day has just about escaped me, I'll try to jot down a brief recap. Fifteen is, afterall, a milestone that needs to at least be acknowledged.

When I started this blog I had six grandchildren and one great-grandson, hence the great-granny grandma title. Since then I have been blessed with one more grandson, and four more great-grands, bringing the total to seven grands and five great-grands.

My very first blog post about Trader Joe Triple Gingersnap Cookies contained another memory within it that made me smile. 

On my trip down memory lane I relived happy memories of special events such as graduations, weddings, moving to a new home in a new town, and becoming an author of children's picture books. But there were some sad memories too such as special friends who moved away, and beloved family pets who crossed the Rainbow Bridge. 

Between 2013 and 2019 I took a six year break during which I focused on a couple of new blogs I'd started, but in the end my heart led me home to the one where my adventures in Blogland began.

EASY

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--EASY

Five minutes to free write about it

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How easy it is for me to feel stressed when life gets lifey and interferes with my plans. How easy it is to let frustration loom large and overshadow the many blessings in my life.

A few days ago I tried getting into my daughter's car while standing on a patch of ice. One foot was already in, but the other one started sliding, and before I knew it I had fallen out of the car and was lying on the ground. It was quite a shock, to say the least, but I'm very thankful that none of my bones got broken in the fall. That was easy to be grateful for.

WHEN MY HEART FEELS HEAVY

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--HEAVY

Five minutes to free write about it

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My heart feels heavy over the unspeakable violence and destruction taking place in Ukraine, the targeting of civilians and evacuees, the killing of innocents.

My heart feels heavy over the cruelty, hatred, and evil that seems to be overtaking more and more of our broken world.

When my heart feels heavy, I need to remind myself that God is in control, and that all these things now happening have already been written in His Book, as has the ending of the story. None of it should take us by surprise.

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. (John 16:33 NLT)

Now when these things begin to take place, straighten up and raise your heads, because your redemption is drawing near. (Luke 21:28 ESV)

I was contemplating this when I literally did look up and noticed something I'd never seen before on the dracaena(?) plant I've owned for well over 20 years. Pairs of leaves coming together so that their tips touch to form what look like giant hugs.

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The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. (Psalm 34:18 NLT)

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? (Romans 8:35 NIV)

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! (Isaiah 26:3 NLT)

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I shall not be shaken. (Psalm 62:5-6 NLT)

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea. (Psalm 46:1-2 ESV)

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18 BSB)

Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:78 BSB)

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. (Psalm 23:4 NLT)

COMMIT

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--COMMIT

Five minutes to free write about it

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Two thoughts popped into mind when I saw this week's prompt.

Psalm 37:5 was the first one -- "Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you" (NLT).

My second thought was about how it seems that I'm better at keeping my commitments to others--especially work related ones--than I am at keeping commitments to myself. Even after much prayer and asking the Lord to help me follow through, certain personal resolutions have gone unfulfilled year after year after year. Why is that? Does anyone else relate?

ACHIEVE

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--ACHIEVE

Five minutes to free write about it

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Recently I reconnected with an old grad school friend who tracked me down through Facebook. She has achieved much and the bio she shared with me was impressive. As I read it, my thoughts started traveling down the bunny trail of remorse over the poor choices I made during this 60 year interim, the squandered talents and opportunities. 

More than anything, I had wanted to make a difference, to feel acknowledged, to achieve something of significance, but that's not the way things played out. Life did not turn out the way I wished it had.

Regrets, however, are futile. Not one of us can go back and change the past. So midway down that trail I stopped and reminded myself that we are all Divine originals created by God for a special purpose no one else can fulfill. Unlike the world, He does not measure our self worth by our achievements, or by how other people perceive us, nor does He measure success in numbers. 

A question I had never considered popped into my mind. Am I really where I am today because of the poor choices I made, or am I here by God's design? Perhaps this is exactly what and where I need to be for this particular moment in His plan. Perhaps it's a token of His mercy and grace towards me.

Had I pursued my talents and education to their fullest, would I maybe have spent my life chasing after the things this world has to offer instead of the things that have eternal value? Would I have missed God's gift of salvation, a greater tragedy by far? That's a thought to ponder.

TRIALS

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--TRIALS

Five minutes to free write about it

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A trial can mean many things. My first thought was of a trial period where you are given the opportunity to try something out before making a commitment. Or the offer of a money back guarantee if you don't like what you purchased.

When I was young, a trial meant a challenge. Challenges were what I thrived on. I loved nothing better than proving people wrong who said something couldn't be done--especially if they said I couldn't do it.  

And then as the years went by, that word increasingly meant adversity, hardship, and affliction. Like unexpectedly becoming a single mom of two young children as the result of an untimely tragedy, or the near death experience that I wrote about in Oil of Myrrh. Not experiences I would ever choose, and yet there was always a testimony down the road to help strengthen my faith and my trust in a loving God who is in control. I have a tabbed notebook full of these testimonies. Each one recorded under the name that describes the aspect of His character that was revealed through it.

TAKING A BREAK

Dear friends, my "tomorrow" will start with a 21-day fast from social media, but before I disappear, I wanted to wish you all a Happy New Year! May 2022 bring you peace, joy, good health, and many blessings.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF CHRISTMAS

 

This song has been playing in my mind since I got up this morning to a very different kind of Christmas. The words have gripped my heart in a way they never have before. How unfathomable the thought that Jesus, King of kings, and Lord of Lords, not only took on human form, but came to earth as a helpless baby born in a manger because there was no room for Him anywhere else. 

Christmas Day my West Virginia family and I have a tradition of getting together for a special feast, followed by fellowship and the giving of gifts around the tree. Then we have a second celebration the day after when our New Jersey family arrives. This year, however, following a series of domino like events--including several cases of Covid--there was no one left to celebrate with and so we had to put it off. 

Though I love my family, and miss being with them, I know we will get together on another day. Instead of feeling sad, I welcome this chance to spend Christmas with Jesus, worshipping Him, and offering Him my gifts of thanksgiving. As I do so, many thoughts cross my mind, such as the brevity of life, and how our best laid out plans can come to nothing when unexpected circumstances arise. None of us is promised another day--nor even another moment, for that matter. 

Don't put off telling someone you love them. And, most of all, don't put off receiving the gift of salvation Jesus is offering you. Tomorrow may be too late.

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For the wages of sin is death, but the gift 

of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our 

Lord. (Romans 6:23)

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We are all born with a sin nature that separates us from God. All through the ages, with few exceptions, people have rejected Him, preferring to rule themselves and do things their own way, and yet He never stopped loving us despite it all. He longs for us to become part of His family forever, and has done everything He can to make this possible.

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For God so loved the world, that he gave 

his only Son, that whoever believes in him 

should not perish but have eternal life. 

(John 3:16)

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God loves us so much that He gave the very best and most valuable thing He had to give--His only Son, Jesus, who came to earth in human form to atone for our sins and shame. By His death on the cross we have been cleansed, forgiven, and offered the gift of eternal life. All you have to do is reach out and receive this free gift by faith. It is not something you can earn. God won't force you to accept it. The choice is yours.

EXPECTATIONS

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--EXPECTATIONS

Five minutes to free write about it

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I was not planning on participating in this week's challenge, but the word prompt provides such a perfect segue to the testimony I was about to share, here goes. 

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My expectations rarely play out the way I expect them to. Sometimes things turn out better, sometimes worse. This testimony is about a blessing I almost missed out on because my expectations were all wrong. But God... 

I had a very old, bulky, tube TV with the big back, from days long before flat screens came on the market. Mostly I used it to watch DVDs, VCR tapes, and my Wii Fit, all of which were hooked up to it. When it finally died, I thought I would need to replace it with something similar because I didn't realize that newer model TVs also have ports you can plug jacks into. So I posted a want ad on Freecycle asking for an old model TV that had these ports, and included a picture of what mine looked like.

The first response was from someone who was out of town, but would be back in a week, so we made arrangements for me to stop by when they returned. Meanwhile, I got another response from a lady who wrote, "I have exactly this. We just upgraded." So, what to do? Wait for the first person to get back, or get this one? I decided to go with the new offer if I could find someone to help me with the lifting. And so started a series of e-mails between us that I will only just give the gist of:

Me (with the expectation that this was another big, bulky, heavy TV): I'll come as soon as I can find someone to come with me and do the lifting.

Lady: It's not that heavy.

Me: I can't find anyone, so I'm going to pass. P.S. I'm 82 years old, and just about everything feels too heavy.

[At this point, most people would have let it go at that, but this lady was persistent.]

Lady: I can help get it to you. Where do you live?

Me: That's really kind of you, but I'm still going to pass, and research other options that aren't so big and bulky.

Lady (thinking I was afraid to have her bring it to me): I understand you not being comfortable having a stranger in your house, but I'll hold on to it for a week in case you change your mind.

Me: Oh my goodness, I was not worried about you coming to my apartment. I was telling you the truth about having changed my mind about getting another big, bulky TV.

Lady (sending me a picture): I guess I'm not giving up. This TV is not bulky. When I saw your ad, I had just been telling my son that I'd like this to go to someone who can use it. Not someone that just wants a 4th TV.

Wow! Who would have thought. Did God plan the timing of this whole scenario or what?

And now my five minutes are up, but I need to add a P.S.

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P.S. God is so amazing. I'm always in awe at the way he orchestrates things down to the most minute details.

When I picked up the TV, the lady and her husband loaded it into my car for me. It is beautiful beyond my wildest expectations. Nothing like what I had before. The screen is 31.5" wide (about three times bigger than the old one), and it's only 8" deep, so pretty close to a flat screen. And when I got home and got out of my car wandering how I would get it up to my second floor apartment, a guy just happened to step out onto his patio for a smoke. I asked him if he would be willing to carry it up for me, and he was most happy to oblige.

And now for the final detail, which could only have been masterminded by someone who knew the beginning from the end. 

When I went shopping for Christmas cards this year, I picked out several for people who have been special blessings in my life, and somehow, one of the nicest ones was wound up getting left over after I finished addressing everyone on my list. I couldn't understand how that could have happened, but now I do, and can just imagine God smiling a big smile and giving me a huge wink.