DEFEAT

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--DEFEAT

Five minutes to free-write about it

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I never used to be one to admit defeat. In fact, when I was young, I thrived on challenges and proving people wrong when they said something could not be done. I remember two experiences in particular. 

One was in high school when my math teacher tried to convince me to wait another year before taking the college entrance exams because if I took them now with the rest of my classmates, I would not pass.

As was my M.O. I set out to prove her wrong. I studied so hard for those exams that even though I soon forgot most of what I'd crammed into my brain, I was not only able to hold onto it long enough to pass, but to do so with high grades.

Another time was in graduate school. 

Back in the day we didn't have career counseling or aptitude testing and I wasn't sure what direction I wanted to take, so I settled on Speech Pathology just because it was a field I had never heard of before and it sounded interesting. The only catch was that the only school in my area that offered a degree in it was a French University and my knowledge of French was limited. I enrolled anyway.

As it turned out, we were an unusually small group of only four students. The other three were French Canadians who spoke little English. They helped me with the lectures, which were in French, and I helped them with the textbooks, which were mostly in English. It turned out to be a win-win for all four of us, and we soon bonded and became a close-knit group.

They told me about a summer camp for handicapped children and adults in the Catskills that employed speech therapists, but nobody from our school had ever been able to get a job there because their English was not considered good enough. I asked them if they would like to go, and when they said they would, I filled out all our application forms and we all got hired.

Now, however, in my very senior years, I seem to have lost my spunk. Even though the Word tells me that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13), and exhorts me to not grow weary or give up (2 Chronicles 15:7; Galatians 6:9), I am weary. Very weary.

Two major issues loom large right now, threatening to defeat me. Even though my faith is in the Lord, and I know how the story ends, there are still moments when I almost believe the lies.

But God! He put this song in my heart this morning, which has provided me with just the little push I need to keep on keeping on.

 

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The above memories are part of my memoir, Sincerely Wrong: An Improbable Journey.