1/21/23

DOUBT


Th
is post was written for Five Minute Friday
Word prompt--DOUBT
Five minutes to free write about it
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This week's prompt is most timely. As is Rishie's post, Reflecting on Doubt (FMF #2), in which she wrote a simple, but beautiful poem that depicts the struggle I've been going through in a way I was unable to find the right words to express myself.

Why I have these doubts, I do not know. No matter my challenges, no matter the hurts, God has always had my back. He has always been faithful and trustworthy. The one person I could always depend on, and who has never ever let me down. So why do I doubt?

Our church starts every year with 21 days of prayer and fasting. This year the theme is "Our Father." Each week focuses on a different aspect of our relationship with our heavenly Father. This week's was on hearing God's voice. 

After listening to one of the live daily devotionals, I felt led to take the book, Experiencing God, out of my bookshelf and go through it again. It's a study I've done many times in the past and, to be honest, I really didn't want to do it again, but then, reluctantly, I obeyed.

In a nutshell, for anyone not familiar with the course, it's about how God is always at work around us and He invites us to become involved with Him in His work. But rather than tell us what He wants us to do and have us go off and do it ourselves, He wants us to have an intimate, personal relationship with Him and allow Him to mold us and shape us into instruments of His choosing so He can accomplish His work through us. Then, as we obey Him and see how He accomplishes His work through us, we come to know Him and experience Him in an even deeper and more meaningful way.

The section I was reading today said that when God is about to do something through you, He has to get you from where you are to where He is,  Flipping through an old notebook I found in the book, it was most discouraging to note that the two major things in my life that I knew could not be accomplished unless God intervened back then in 2014, were the same two issues that I'm dealing with today. 

That led to many more doubts as I pondered why nothing had changed, and what, if anything, God was preparing me for, and why He wanted me to do this study yet again. But then God's ways are not our ways, and His timing is not our time. Like it says in Psalm 90:4, to God a thousand years are as a passing day or as a few night hours would be to us. 

Finally, I'm not sure what this has to do with anything, but maybe this Scripture that's been running through my head is God trying to tell me something?  But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly and despised things of the world and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast in His presence. (1 Corinthians 1:27-29, BSB).'





12 comments:

  1. I am sorry for your struggle. But I know that God loves those who love him and want to do as He asks! I believe you have nothing to worry about, and are maybe too hard on yourself? Having said that, I don't really know you, but what i do know of you makes me say this.

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  2. I’m praying this study will be of some great help and comfort for you, I’m about to get back into this Bible study myself. I started it a few months ago and it’s incredible! Then, with the holidays, I fell off and here it sits, just waiting for me to begin again. My book belonged to my grandmother and it has her writing inside of it. She passed away a little over a year ago, and it is so special to me. I will remember to pray for you as I begin it again.

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    1. Wow, what a treasure to not only have your grandmother's book, but also what she wrote inside it. Thanks for your prayers.

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  3. so grateful for this truth: "No matter my challenges, no matter the hurts, God has always had my back. He has always been faithful and trustworthy." Thank you for sharing!

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  4. I understand your thoughts and doubts. I struggle with that at times as well, and like you can also look back and say God has never let me down. That and God's promises are what I try to focus on.

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  5. hard questions, but you have within that willingness to follow... i wonder where it will take you if you are bold enough to trust God fully. I want to see! FMF32

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  6. Experiencing God is such an encouraging study, Sandra! I pray you are encouraged as you journey with the Lord through the book in 2023. The Lord must have new insights for you - even regarding the things from previous years.

    I began reading Derek Prince's book, Pride versus Humility, today and I've found it to be insightful. If you are looking for a new book on humility, I recommend it (even though I have only read the first two chapters - it's that good!).

    May the Lord strengthen and encourage your heart! May His peace guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

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    1. Thanks, Lisa, and for the book recommendation.

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  7. This is very encouraging, Sandra. I'm finding the Lord keeps bringing me around to something He's said in the past, and making me face what I see as 'failures', so He and I can move forward on it. He doesn't waste anything and time is not a problem for Him. He redeems anything that is surrendered. Praying strength for you. Kath, visiting from #34 this week.

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  8. I'm sorry to hear you are going through a time of doubting. Those times of questioning and wondering are always difficult, but I think God uses those times to grow our faith. Especially when we turn to Him for the answers, knowing that He is faithful. Visiting from FMF19

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  9. I have heard of the study Experiencing God but haven't read it. It sounds like it has been helpful to you. I have had your experience where I find an old journal and realize I still have the same questions that are like a broken record. Thank you for sharing. Jane FMF #37

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