CAPACITY

This post was written for Five Minute Friday
Word prompt--CAPACITY

Five minutes to free-write about it

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This week's prompt is a very appropriate one for me as I struggle to accept that my capacity really is finite. 

The dictionary defines capacity as the maximum amount something can contain or produce, and that's where I'm at right now. Much as I wish it were not so, in order to do what's most important on my list of priorities, there are other things I would also like to do that I have to say no to. That has been something really, really hard to come to terms with.

The other day I was looking for a book in my Kindle library and was shocked to see how many of the books in it have never been read. There is also a large box of unread books in my closet that were all purchased with the intent to read. Yet I keep borrowing books from the library. The thought crossed my mind that given the present season of life I'm in, there is probably no way I could read all of what I already have before reaching the end of my journey so why do I keep borrowing more? 

And so I've done some soul searching and a lot of praying and asking the Lord to help me reorder my priorities. One thing He made clear is that I need to let go of the idea that I can change the things that currently need changing in my circumstances through my own efforts. That is something only He can do. My part is to trust in His provision and strive for more balance in my life, and that is what I've been trying to do.

Last week I made two major decisions that surprisingly relieved a lot of unnecessary stress. The first was to return my pile of borrowed library books, sort through what I already have, and read the ones I still want to read before borrowing any more.  I also took a couple of days off and, with some trepidation, put everything on hold that I had thought couldn't be put off, so I could complete a project dear to my heart that I had started a year ago. Much as I'd wanted to get it done, I kept putting it off because I felt overwhelmed by everything else on my plate and was convinced there was no time for anything else. What a lie that turned out to be

Nothing terrible happened as a result of my taking the time off, and all it took were those couple of days to finish my project (a children's picture book about my great-granddog, Oliver) and get it published on Amazon. I'm still pinching myself to make sure it really did happen that fast after all the many months of procrastinating and feeling frustrated at not being able to find the time to get to it. I think there's a lesson there to be learned.

If you are interested in checking out my book, here is the link to it.