REWIND

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--REWIND

Five minutes to free-write about it

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This may sound silly, but today's word prompt stumped me, and I wound up cheating by reading some of the other posts before writing mine.

My first thought was of being able to turn back the clock, but I don't think that's what rewind means, and my thought was confirmed as I read Kate's post about precious memories she wished she could revisit.

Back in the days when we had tapes and video cassettes (I still do, LOL), rewinding them enabled you to go back and re-listen to or re-watch something that was on a previous portion of it. You could re-experience it, but not actually change it.

So I guess, more than being able to rewind and revisit a certain memory (though that would be nice too), what I've often wished was that I could turn back the clock and have a chance to do things differently, knowing what I know now. But you know what? I wonder if, given another chance, I really would do things differently.

The truth is that every day is a gift that brings with it the opportunity for a new beginning. It's like being given a clean, new, blank page to write on. And yet, even though I now know the things I wish I would have known back then, I still do things I regret and wish I had said or done differently.

I do have to agree with what Dixie wrote in her post though, that every experience was part of God's purpose and plan, and that it led me to where I am today. I am so grateful for His unconditional love, longsuffering patience, and that He never gave up on me. I am so thankful that some of my greatest regrets were the very things that led me to Jesus. Had it been otherwise, would I ever have felt a need for His saving grace?

CAPACITY

This post was written for Five Minute Friday
Word prompt--CAPACITY

Five minutes to free-write about it

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This week's prompt is a very appropriate one for me as I struggle to accept that my capacity really is finite. 

The dictionary defines capacity as the maximum amount something can contain or produce, and that's where I'm at right now. Much as I wish it were not so, in order to do what's most important on my list of priorities, there are other things I would also like to do that I have to say no to. That has been something really, really hard to come to terms with.

The other day I was looking for a book in my Kindle library and was shocked to see how many of the books in it have never been read. There is also a large box of unread books in my closet that were all purchased with the intent to read. Yet I keep borrowing books from the library. The thought crossed my mind that given the present season of life I'm in, there is probably no way I could read all of what I already have before reaching the end of my journey so why do I keep borrowing more? 

And so I've done some soul searching and a lot of praying and asking the Lord to help me reorder my priorities. One thing He made clear is that I need to let go of the idea that I can change the things that currently need changing in my circumstances through my own efforts. That is something only He can do. My part is to trust in His provision and strive for more balance in my life, and that is what I've been trying to do.

Last week I made two major decisions that surprisingly relieved a lot of unnecessary stress. The first was to return my pile of borrowed library books, sort through what I already have, and read the ones I still want to read before borrowing any more.  I also took a couple of days off and, with some trepidation, put everything on hold that I had thought couldn't be put off, so I could complete a project dear to my heart that I had started a year ago. Much as I'd wanted to get it done, I kept putting it off because I felt overwhelmed by everything else on my plate and was convinced there was no time for anything else. What a lie that turned out to be

Nothing terrible happened as a result of my taking the time off, and all it took were those couple of days to finish my project (a children's picture book about my great-granddog, Oliver) and get it published on Amazon. I'm still pinching myself to make sure it really did happen that fast after all the many months of procrastinating and feeling frustrated at not being able to find the time to get to it. I think there's a lesson there to be learned.

If you are interested in checking out my book, here is the link to it.