Just wanted to share a quote I saw on Karen's blog that jumped off the page at me. (Wish I had seen it before Julie's Quirky Quotes Contest.)
"When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer." (Corrie Ten Boom)
2/29/08
2/28/08
JUST A THOUGHT - 1
"In addition to all this, take up the shield
of faith, with which you can extinguish
all the flaming arrows of the evil one."
(Ephesians 6"16)
Just got home from an early morning Bible study on the book of Nehemiah, which is about the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem, and how a city without walls is an open invitation for enemy invasion. We are looking at the steps Nehemiah took to accomplish this project, and how we can apply them to the rebuilding of our own lives.
Today's lesson dealt with opposition, and one line on the page really jumped out at me: Do you want your life to be comfortable, or do you want your life to count? Hmm. My life has been far from comfortable these days, but I don't know how much it counts.
It seems like every time I give a testimony or post something on my blog that might be an encouragement to someone else, I get attacked by another fiery dart of the enemy. I feel like one of those Rolly-Polly type toys my kids had when they were little, that when punched down would pop right up again, and in that instant that I am down I feel like a hypocrite. Does the fact that I keep popping back up exonerate me? Just a thought.
of faith, with which you can extinguish
all the flaming arrows of the evil one."
(Ephesians 6"16)
Just got home from an early morning Bible study on the book of Nehemiah, which is about the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem, and how a city without walls is an open invitation for enemy invasion. We are looking at the steps Nehemiah took to accomplish this project, and how we can apply them to the rebuilding of our own lives.
Today's lesson dealt with opposition, and one line on the page really jumped out at me: Do you want your life to be comfortable, or do you want your life to count? Hmm. My life has been far from comfortable these days, but I don't know how much it counts.
It seems like every time I give a testimony or post something on my blog that might be an encouragement to someone else, I get attacked by another fiery dart of the enemy. I feel like one of those Rolly-Polly type toys my kids had when they were little, that when punched down would pop right up again, and in that instant that I am down I feel like a hypocrite. Does the fact that I keep popping back up exonerate me? Just a thought.
2/26/08
AARGH!
"And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or
what ye shall drink, neither be ye of
doubtful mind. ...your Father knoweth
that ye have need of these things. But
rather seek ye the Kingdom of God;
and all these things shall be added
unto you." (Luke 12:29-31))
Aargh! That's how I've been feeling lately. Nothing seems to be going right.
The last couple of months have been marked by one setback after another. If it's not health-related, it's finances, or a disappointing turn to what seemed like a great relationship, or something promised and greatly anticipated not coming to pass. Plans keep falling through--even simple ones, like a list of what I need to get done on any given day. Something always seems to come up to upset the apple cart, and for someone like me who likes to feel in control, it has been totally frustrating and unsettling.
Last night I went to bed feeling as though my bucket of dissapoinments was so full it couldn't possibly hold another drop, only to discover yet another one trying to sneak in and join the rest. My transcription software decided to stop cooperating, and I haven't been able to troubleshoot the problem, there is no tech support number for me to call, and my friend's husband who has very graciously offered to stop by after work to see if he can fix it will not be here until the end of the day. So I guess I'm on leave without pay at a time when I really can't afford to be.
At this moment my wish is that someone else would step in and make things right for me, like a fairy godmother who could just wave her magic wand and make all my problems go away, but I know that would only be a temporary fix, and the Lord is trying to show me a far better solution. But what, and how? I'm guessing He's planned this unwanted day so I can ponder such weighty matters and give Him my full attention without any guilt feelings about work not getting done.
The first thought that comes to mind is TRUST. Do I really trust God to keep the promises in His Word, or am I more likely to be moved by the things I see and hear and feel? Trials are one sure way to find out. Without a TEST, there can be no TESTIMONY. How true. I have a little card on my refrigerator door that says "We are not operating in the arena of faith unless we are dealing with problems that at the present moment appear unsolvable." Maybe I need to remind myself of that a little more often.
Now I may not be able to change my circumstances, but I do have 100% full control of the thoughts I choose to dwell on, and if I change my thoughts, my feelings tend to follow, and before long I'm seeing things from a whole different perspective. As Martin Luther once said, "You can't keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair."
I used to think a lot about things like that, and some years ago I started keeping a notebook which I entitled "Memories to Ponder on Difficult Days." It is a personal reminder of God's faithfulness, and the many awesome ways He has come through for me when I was facing issues that seemed insurmountable. It is also a great reminder of His unconditional love, and how much better His timing is than mine. I am so impatient, and so driven by the little piece of the puzzle I am looking at at the time, I tend to forget that He sees the whole picture and knows what is best in the long run. This book helps me see, in retrospect, how grateful I need to be that some of my prayers weren't answered when and how I wanted them to be.
Well, the day is now almost over, and I'm feeling surprisingly relaxed and refreshed. My friend should be here soon to get the software up and running again, and I've actually had a chance to do some blogging, which I haven't been able to get to for quite some time. I'm also looking at a little sticker pasted to the cover of my notebook that says, "God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him." So things are looking up again, and I'm feeling hopeful and encouraged. Maybe it wasn't a wasted day after all, and just maybe someone else will find encouragement through these rambling thoughts.
what ye shall drink, neither be ye of
doubtful mind. ...your Father knoweth
that ye have need of these things. But
rather seek ye the Kingdom of God;
and all these things shall be added
unto you." (Luke 12:29-31))
Aargh! That's how I've been feeling lately. Nothing seems to be going right.
The last couple of months have been marked by one setback after another. If it's not health-related, it's finances, or a disappointing turn to what seemed like a great relationship, or something promised and greatly anticipated not coming to pass. Plans keep falling through--even simple ones, like a list of what I need to get done on any given day. Something always seems to come up to upset the apple cart, and for someone like me who likes to feel in control, it has been totally frustrating and unsettling.
Last night I went to bed feeling as though my bucket of dissapoinments was so full it couldn't possibly hold another drop, only to discover yet another one trying to sneak in and join the rest. My transcription software decided to stop cooperating, and I haven't been able to troubleshoot the problem, there is no tech support number for me to call, and my friend's husband who has very graciously offered to stop by after work to see if he can fix it will not be here until the end of the day. So I guess I'm on leave without pay at a time when I really can't afford to be.
At this moment my wish is that someone else would step in and make things right for me, like a fairy godmother who could just wave her magic wand and make all my problems go away, but I know that would only be a temporary fix, and the Lord is trying to show me a far better solution. But what, and how? I'm guessing He's planned this unwanted day so I can ponder such weighty matters and give Him my full attention without any guilt feelings about work not getting done.
The first thought that comes to mind is TRUST. Do I really trust God to keep the promises in His Word, or am I more likely to be moved by the things I see and hear and feel? Trials are one sure way to find out. Without a TEST, there can be no TESTIMONY. How true. I have a little card on my refrigerator door that says "We are not operating in the arena of faith unless we are dealing with problems that at the present moment appear unsolvable." Maybe I need to remind myself of that a little more often.
Now I may not be able to change my circumstances, but I do have 100% full control of the thoughts I choose to dwell on, and if I change my thoughts, my feelings tend to follow, and before long I'm seeing things from a whole different perspective. As Martin Luther once said, "You can't keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair."
I used to think a lot about things like that, and some years ago I started keeping a notebook which I entitled "Memories to Ponder on Difficult Days." It is a personal reminder of God's faithfulness, and the many awesome ways He has come through for me when I was facing issues that seemed insurmountable. It is also a great reminder of His unconditional love, and how much better His timing is than mine. I am so impatient, and so driven by the little piece of the puzzle I am looking at at the time, I tend to forget that He sees the whole picture and knows what is best in the long run. This book helps me see, in retrospect, how grateful I need to be that some of my prayers weren't answered when and how I wanted them to be.
Well, the day is now almost over, and I'm feeling surprisingly relaxed and refreshed. My friend should be here soon to get the software up and running again, and I've actually had a chance to do some blogging, which I haven't been able to get to for quite some time. I'm also looking at a little sticker pasted to the cover of my notebook that says, "God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him." So things are looking up again, and I'm feeling hopeful and encouraged. Maybe it wasn't a wasted day after all, and just maybe someone else will find encouragement through these rambling thoughts.
2/17/08
QUIRKY QUOTE CONTEST
Julie is hosting a "Quirky Quotes" contest. Click here if you want to participate.
My entry (which I think will be my one and only--even though we are allowed two) is from W. Phillip Keller's book, A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23.
"He who has no sense of self-importance cannot be offended or defeated."
1/17/08
TWO GRANDMAS PLAYING IN THE SNOW
There really is a second grandma out there throwing snowballs and building a snowman, but I wasn't sure if she would appreciate having her picture on my blog, so friend Julie cropped her out of it.
I had forgotten what fun it is to play in the snow.
SINGING THE BLUES
"...you created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother's womb. ... I am fearfully
and wonderfully made; ... All the days ordained
for me were written in your book before one of
them came to be."
(Psalm 139:13-16)
A few days ago I received an e-mail from a friend, thanking me for a forward I had sent that had brightened her day, and telling me I had missed my vocation because I always have "something nice up your [my] sleeve to send, just at the right time to uplift a day!"
Well, lately I have been feeling somewhat down on myself, and her e-mail made me smile, but soon I was back to singing the blues and feeling how right she was about my having missed my vocation--and my talents, and my education, and my life, as well.
It seems like I started out with so much and wasted it all, and now there is nothing to show for it--except my two children, who I love with all my heart, and who seem to have made something of their lives despite my poor parenting, and who have blessed me with six beautiful grandchildren between them.
Then I thought of the post on my friend Kate's blog, and it brought tears to my eyes, as did my daughter's comment in response to it, and I wondered if either one of them realize how very, very blessed they are. What I would give to be able to turn back the clock and relive those early parenting days when I was a single mom with a fierce sense of the importance of "my" time, with no Word to guide me, and too selfish and overwhelmed to put my love in action the way they do with their kids.
The tragedy of a wasted life! But then has it been? Had I pursued my talents and education to their fullest, would I ever have felt a need for the Lord or for His saving grace? Would I be chasing after the things the world has to offer, instead of the things that have eternal value? Would I have missed God's gift of salvation instead of my vocation, a greater tragedy by far?
The past is gone, and the clock can never be turned back, and maybe it's time for a new song, a song of gratitude that "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7b)
together in my mother's womb. ... I am fearfully
and wonderfully made; ... All the days ordained
for me were written in your book before one of
them came to be."
(Psalm 139:13-16)
A few days ago I received an e-mail from a friend, thanking me for a forward I had sent that had brightened her day, and telling me I had missed my vocation because I always have "something nice up your [my] sleeve to send, just at the right time to uplift a day!"
Well, lately I have been feeling somewhat down on myself, and her e-mail made me smile, but soon I was back to singing the blues and feeling how right she was about my having missed my vocation--and my talents, and my education, and my life, as well.
It seems like I started out with so much and wasted it all, and now there is nothing to show for it--except my two children, who I love with all my heart, and who seem to have made something of their lives despite my poor parenting, and who have blessed me with six beautiful grandchildren between them.
Then I thought of the post on my friend Kate's blog, and it brought tears to my eyes, as did my daughter's comment in response to it, and I wondered if either one of them realize how very, very blessed they are. What I would give to be able to turn back the clock and relive those early parenting days when I was a single mom with a fierce sense of the importance of "my" time, with no Word to guide me, and too selfish and overwhelmed to put my love in action the way they do with their kids.
The tragedy of a wasted life! But then has it been? Had I pursued my talents and education to their fullest, would I ever have felt a need for the Lord or for His saving grace? Would I be chasing after the things the world has to offer, instead of the things that have eternal value? Would I have missed God's gift of salvation instead of my vocation, a greater tragedy by far?
The past is gone, and the clock can never be turned back, and maybe it's time for a new song, a song of gratitude that "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7b)
1/11/08
SEIZE THE MOMENT
For almost two weeks now I have been battling a severe sinus/middle ear infection, and have gotten some painful (no pun intended) glimpses into what life would be like without some of the things I take for granted, like being able to see, hear, and walk a straight line.
Until I tried to work with my ears clogged (I do transcription) I never realized the effect it could have. At best, it has slowed me down tremendously as I try to decipher letters and numbers that sound alike. And when my eyes start feeling weird, and the room starts spinning, I have to stop altogether because I can no longer look at my computer screen or even read. Nor can I drive or go for a walk.
And so that leads to another thing I tend to take for granted--TIME. How important to seize the moment and stop procrastinating. Today's open door may no longer be open tomorrow.
Until I tried to work with my ears clogged (I do transcription) I never realized the effect it could have. At best, it has slowed me down tremendously as I try to decipher letters and numbers that sound alike. And when my eyes start feeling weird, and the room starts spinning, I have to stop altogether because I can no longer look at my computer screen or even read. Nor can I drive or go for a walk.
And so that leads to another thing I tend to take for granted--TIME. How important to seize the moment and stop procrastinating. Today's open door may no longer be open tomorrow.
1/1/08
A FRESH START
"Two are better than one ... If one falls down,
his friend can help him up. ... Though one may
be overpowered, two can defend themselves."
(Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
Today, my beautiful granddaughter gave up her New Years Day to come give me a helping hand, and what a helping hand it turned out to be. Armed with sandpaper, a straight edged razor, a tube of caulk, and some touch up paint, she went from room to room taking care of things that needed to have been done before I moved in but weren't, and that cast a shadow over what should have been a joyous event.
Where I had been too overwhelmed to even think where to start, she dug right in, and for the next several hours we worked as a team. I scrubbed floors, and she took care of the more challenging stuff, like sanding and touching up baseboards where dust bunnies that had not been cleaned first had just been painted over.
Now as I look around I am so amazed at what a difference this has made. My spirits have soared, and instead of negative thoughts, hope is in the air. For the first time since moving in, I can honestly say I am feeling content with the way things are.
2007 may have ended on a bit of a low note for me, but 2008 has definitely started on a high!
his friend can help him up. ... Though one may
be overpowered, two can defend themselves."
(Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
Today, my beautiful granddaughter gave up her New Years Day to come give me a helping hand, and what a helping hand it turned out to be. Armed with sandpaper, a straight edged razor, a tube of caulk, and some touch up paint, she went from room to room taking care of things that needed to have been done before I moved in but weren't, and that cast a shadow over what should have been a joyous event.
Where I had been too overwhelmed to even think where to start, she dug right in, and for the next several hours we worked as a team. I scrubbed floors, and she took care of the more challenging stuff, like sanding and touching up baseboards where dust bunnies that had not been cleaned first had just been painted over.
Now as I look around I am so amazed at what a difference this has made. My spirits have soared, and instead of negative thoughts, hope is in the air. For the first time since moving in, I can honestly say I am feeling content with the way things are.
2007 may have ended on a bit of a low note for me, but 2008 has definitely started on a high!
12/21/07
RECONNECTING WITH THE PAST
"God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform."
William Cowper
Today was a momentous day. I heard from a cousin I have never met, and I really want to blog about it, but my mind is so full of sad and joyful thoughts all jumbled together, I can't seem to find the right words. So let me go back a couple of months to a day I was surfing the Net and had a sudden impulse to look someone up. Someone I knew half a century ago, and who I haven't even thought of for years and years.
To my surprise, I saw that he had written a book entitled Dreams and Tears, a chronicle of his life during the holocaust. Well, long story short, I ordered the book and read it, never imagining the impact it would have. Not only did it connect me to roots on my father's side of the family I was unfamiliar with, but through its pages I also discovered that I have a cousin, alive and well, living on the other side of the world.
So back to the Internet I went in an attempt to track down Erwin Koranyi, the author of the book. This done, I contacted him to express my gratitude. He, in turn, sent me my cousin's address and e-mail, and not even knowing whether she spoke English or not, I dashed off a message to her, introducing myself as the cousin she had never met. Well actually, I didn't really dash it off. At first I was hesitant to do so because I was afraid it might be an intrusion after all these years, but my wise daughter convinced me to go ahead, and now I'm glad I listened.
So back to my jumble of feelings I started to write about at the beginning of this blog. The joy part has to do with hearing back from my cousin and knowing she is genuinely happy that I got in touch. The sad is for lost years, and fleeting time, and regrets over things done or not done that I wish could be re-done. But that is futile thinking, I know. The clock can never be turned back.
His wonders to perform."
William Cowper
Today was a momentous day. I heard from a cousin I have never met, and I really want to blog about it, but my mind is so full of sad and joyful thoughts all jumbled together, I can't seem to find the right words. So let me go back a couple of months to a day I was surfing the Net and had a sudden impulse to look someone up. Someone I knew half a century ago, and who I haven't even thought of for years and years.
To my surprise, I saw that he had written a book entitled Dreams and Tears, a chronicle of his life during the holocaust. Well, long story short, I ordered the book and read it, never imagining the impact it would have. Not only did it connect me to roots on my father's side of the family I was unfamiliar with, but through its pages I also discovered that I have a cousin, alive and well, living on the other side of the world.
So back to the Internet I went in an attempt to track down Erwin Koranyi, the author of the book. This done, I contacted him to express my gratitude. He, in turn, sent me my cousin's address and e-mail, and not even knowing whether she spoke English or not, I dashed off a message to her, introducing myself as the cousin she had never met. Well actually, I didn't really dash it off. At first I was hesitant to do so because I was afraid it might be an intrusion after all these years, but my wise daughter convinced me to go ahead, and now I'm glad I listened.
So back to my jumble of feelings I started to write about at the beginning of this blog. The joy part has to do with hearing back from my cousin and knowing she is genuinely happy that I got in touch. The sad is for lost years, and fleeting time, and regrets over things done or not done that I wish could be re-done. But that is futile thinking, I know. The clock can never be turned back.
12/6/07
ONE MORE THING TO BE THANKFUL FOR
Recently I moved to a new apartment in a new town, and for the first time ever, am having to pay for my water usage. Incredibly huge bills. Incredible, because they are so much higher than even the homeowners with yards to water in the town I just moved from ever get billed. I haven't quite recovered from the shock of it yet.
Well today I received an e-mail forward from a friend of mine, entitled "I am thankful for..." (and I won't list everything here, other than just a couple of items to give you the flavor of it) -- "I am thankful for...
Well today I received an e-mail forward from a friend of mine, entitled "I am thankful for..." (and I won't list everything here, other than just a couple of items to give you the flavor of it) -- "I am thankful for...
- ...the taxes I pay, because it means I am employed.
- ...for the mess to clean up after a party, because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
- ...for the teenager who complains about doing the dishes, because it means she is at home, not on the streets.
- ...for my huge heating bill, because it means I am warm.
- ...for the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to wear. "
Looking at it from that perspective, I guess I could add one more item to the list: "I am thankful for my HUGE water bills because it means I have an abundance of water to drink and wash with, I am never thirsty, and I don't have to make the long trek down to the river and back with a jug on my head to collect it, or be concerned about it being contaminated."
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