SPARK

This post was written for Five Minute Friday

Word prompt--SPARK

Five minutes to free-write about it

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It's funny how God can use one thought to spark another, and bring about the insight He wants us to see.

I have been attending a 12-week class on learning to hear the voice of God and finding freedom from the lies and strongholds that hold us back by replacing them with His truth. It involves a lot of journaling and prayer.

We are now about halfway through. Homework has centered on uncovering lies that have taken root in our heart; unhealed wounds that are still affecting us today and contributing to our personal struggles; and learning how to release the past so we can enjoy the healing and freedom that comes when we choose to forgive and live an unoffendable life. 

One of the things that is hardest for me to release and let go of is the guilt I feel over the emtional pain I caused my children when they were growing up. So when one of the group members shared the pain and remorse she still feels over some physical issues one of her daughters is dealing with that might have been averted if she had not been too wrapped up in other things to notice the early signs, I could totally relate. 

Days later, the thought that came to me when I was thinking of my friend and her daughter, was that God had been in control even back then, and it was part of His plan. He had allowed everything that happened, to mold and shape them into who they are today.

I thought of the words of Psalm 139:16 -- You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed (NLT). 

Today both mother and daughter are anointed women of God who are being used in powerful ways that would most likely not have been possible without the hard tests that preceded the ministries they are involved in now. From that perspective, there is no reason to feel remorse or guilt.

That sparked a thought that this insight was not just for her. It was for me as well. It was what enabled me to finally release not only my own guilt over the pain I had caused my daughter, in particular, but also be healed of the lies I had bought into as a result of my own unhealed wounds, and that were still affecting the way I respond to life today.