A RUDE AWAKENING

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge him, and
he will make your paths straight."

Last night I stayed up really late trying to finish an interview I was transcribing, and as I fell exhausted into bed, the Lord spoke eight little words into my mind--you are wound up tighter than a corkscrew. Huh? Me? I never would have thought. And yet, once the words were spoken I suddenly became aware of just how tense and wired up my body really felt. Not to mention the jumble of thoughts tumbling round and around in my head.

The last several months flashed before my eyes. The frustration of trying to cram more into each day than is humanly possible, the rushing from one thing to the next as a result, the inability to achieve balance in my life and letting work take over more and more of my time. Why? I thought I was laid back, I thought my trust was in the Lord and His provision, I thought, I thought, I thought. What a rude awakening to see that what I thought was not fact at all.

If I was really laid back, why was my body all tied up in knots, and if I was trusting in the Lord to provide for all my needs, why was I so fearful that if I didn't work harder and faster, the work would go to someone else? That sounds more like trying to be in control than trusting God and being willing to step outside my comfort zone.

So now I lay it down again, and re-commit my way to the Lord. That means letting Him decide what I need to do, and allowing Him to order my steps and orchestrate my time. He sees the whole picture, and knows what is best. Plus He loves me unconditionally (and you too), and never gives up on us--no matter how many times we fall.

How fitting that I write this as Labor Day draws to a close, harboring the end of one season and the beginning of the next. I feel as though I too am leaving an old way behind and embarking on a new adventure, and I can't wait to see how the next chapter unfolds.