I DON'T WANT TO SAY GOODBYE

I'm looking out my window at the trees being mercilessly whipped by the 60 mph wind gusts, and feeling as gray as the sky. I mourn my favorite redbuds that have hardly had a chance to flower this spring. All year I look forward to those purple blosoms, and now the buds have surely been blown off the trees way before their time. Haven't I experienced enough unexpected twists and turns to my life? Are not even the seasons to be predictable anymore?

I think of how hard it has been to make friends in Leesburg. Acquaintances abound, but their life is so hectic, so overextended, so overcommitted, that reaching out has not met with much success at all. The three friends that I did make, and who have been an important part of my life, are in the process of moving away. I feel happy for them, but at the same time pained at the impending loss.

One friend was a walking partner. We would meet on a certain corner and then walk around the outlet mall together--about a mile and a half for me, two miles for her--and exercise our bodies, while baring our souls. We laughed together, and cried together, and would sometimes become so engrossed in conversation that I would continue on with her to her house, making my walk home even longer.

These days I walk alone. It is not the same. There is a deep void in my heart.

I do not want to say goodbye!