RECONNECTING WITH THE PAST

"God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform."
William Cowper

Today was a momentous day. I heard from a cousin I have never met, and I really want to blog about it, but my mind is so full of sad and joyful thoughts all jumbled together, I can't seem to find the right words. So let me go back a couple of months to a day I was surfing the Net and had a sudden impulse to look someone up. Someone I knew half a century ago, and who I haven't even thought of for years and years.

To my surprise, I saw that he had written a book entitled Dreams and Tears, a chronicle of his life during the holocaust. Well, long story short, I ordered the book and read it, never imagining the impact it would have. Not only did it connect me to roots on my father's side of the family I was unfamiliar with, but through its pages I also discovered that I have a cousin, alive and well, living on the other side of the world.

So back to the Internet I went in an attempt to track down Erwin Koranyi, the author of the book. This done, I contacted him to express my gratitude. He, in turn, sent me my cousin's address and e-mail, and not even knowing whether she spoke English or not, I dashed off a message to her, introducing myself as the cousin she had never met. Well actually, I didn't really dash it off. At first I was hesitant to do so because I was afraid it might be an intrusion after all these years, but my wise daughter convinced me to go ahead, and now I'm glad I listened.

So back to my jumble of feelings I started to write about at the beginning of this blog. The joy part has to do with hearing back from my cousin and knowing she is genuinely happy that I got in touch. The sad is for lost years, and fleeting time, and regrets over things done or not done that I wish could be re-done. But that is futile thinking, I know. The clock can never be turned back.

ONE MORE THING TO BE THANKFUL FOR

Recently I moved to a new apartment in a new town, and for the first time ever, am having to pay for my water usage. Incredibly huge bills. Incredible, because they are so much higher than even the homeowners with yards to water in the town I just moved from ever get billed. I haven't quite recovered from the shock of it yet.

Well today I received an e-mail forward from a friend of mine, entitled "I am thankful for..." (and I won't list everything here, other than just a couple of items to give you the flavor of it) -- "I am thankful for...

• ...the taxes I pay, because it means I am employed.
• ...for the mess to clean up after a party, because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
• ...for the teenager who complains about doing the dishes, because it means she is at home, not on the streets.
• ...for my huge heating bill, because it means I am warm.
• ...for the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to wear. "

Looking at it from that perspective, I guess I could add one more item to the list: "I am thankful for my HUGE water bills because it means I have an abundance of water to drink and wash with, I am never thirsty, and I don't have to make the long trek down to the river and back with a jug on my head to collect it, or be concerned about it being contaminated."