12/21/07

RECONNECTING WITH THE PAST

"God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform."
William Cowper

Today was a momentous day. I heard from a cousin I have never met, and I really want to blog about it, but my mind is so full of sad and joyful thoughts all jumbled together, I can't seem to find the right words. So let me go back a couple of months to a day I was surfing the Net and had a sudden impulse to look someone up. Someone I knew half a century ago, and who I haven't even thought of for years and years.

To my surprise, I saw that he had written a book entitled Dreams and Tears, a chronicle of his life during the holocaust. Well, long story short, I ordered the book and read it, never imagining the impact it would have. Not only did it connect me to roots on my father's side of the family I was unfamiliar with, but through its pages I also discovered that I have a cousin, alive and well, living on the other side of the world.

So back to the Internet I went in an attempt to track down Erwin Koranyi, the author of the book. This done, I contacted him to express my gratitude. He, in turn, sent me my cousin's address and e-mail, and not even knowing whether she spoke English or not, I dashed off a message to her, introducing myself as the cousin she had never met. Well actually, I didn't really dash it off. At first I was hesitant to do so because I was afraid it might be an intrusion after all these years, but my wise daughter convinced me to go ahead, and now I'm glad I listened.

So back to my jumble of feelings I started to write about at the beginning of this blog. The joy part has to do with hearing back from my cousin and knowing she is genuinely happy that I got in touch. The sad is for lost years, and fleeting time, and regrets over things done or not done that I wish could be re-done. But that is futile thinking, I know. The clock can never be turned back.

3 comments:

jewlsntexas said...

I have had a similar reunion very recently - and I think among us all we have decided that the Lord's timing is perfect - and even though we are sad because of lost years - He knew what was happening all along. Only He knew the growth we needed to be the "sister" that we need to be to each other. We're deciding to feel blessed - and leave life-sucking regret and resentment towards those who kept us apart from stealing the joy we have now that we have each other.
I hope you can do the same.

You didn't tell - does she speak English?

jblieu said...

Very exciting that you finally connected.

wise daughter

averagejane said...

The good part is that you haven't let any more years go by without connecting.

I wish you and your family a wonderful joy filled new year. Much love to you.