I don't know what that feels like anymore.

Yesterday I started to blog about a perfect day, not because it was marked by some special event, but because for the first time in several months I woke up feeling like myself again. All those blessings I used to take for granted, like energy, and focus, and being able to get through a day without feeling overwhelmed. And then I took for granted that I had turned the corner, and now everything would be okay. And even though I know that in the end it will be, it isn't yet, and I'm having a real hard time being patient, trusting, and not giving in to fear.

I have friends who at this very moment are facing mountains in their lives compared to which my challenge is a mere molehill, and I marvel at the peace, and courage, and admirable faith they exhibit in the face of it all.

The promises of God are in my head, and all around me on index cards, and in a notebook where I have recorded all the many ways the Lord has come through for me over the years--even before I got to know Him. It is full of testimonies of His faithfulness, grace, provision, and awesome ways He has intervened on my behalf. He has never ever let me down. How then could I still be such a wimp? Can anyone understand?


Average Jane said...

I think of you often, GGG and I hope that you keep well. I know that you believe in your God and I know that he will come through for you. You are never a wimp. Your words have so much strength and courage. Just be there. Sending you much love.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't it Elijah who was boohooing after his fire on the mountain moment? Why would we be any different? Those little things can wear us down if we let them.
Hope you are having a happier day.

Anonymous said...

Now we'll find out if you read your comments. Perhaps this will distract you from your woes, if things go better than the last two times, you are not only going to be a Great-Granny Grandma again this year but also a plain old grandma.